今次讓大家看末期語癌的例子。
以下兩段出自一人,為保障他,內容稍作更改:
"I like studying so much...such as History, Humanities etc...I have liked studying so much since I was a child. When I have free time, I like to go to the night schools to study some historical and humanities courses. Also, I like to go to the bookstores to read books. I have ever studied some historical courses in Macau. Also, I like to read the humanities books so much."
語意重覆,極之冗長。
首兩句在描述他喜歡的科目,以及何時開始著迷。之後四句描述了他喜愛的程度,行為包括上夜校和閱讀。
簡米修正如下:
"I like studying since childhood, especially history and humanities. During leisure, I enjoy attending courses and reading books about history and humanities."
「我最近去上武術課。老師說如果當一個男生心生殺意時,他的眼神會由下慢慢向上望。老師說當男生用這個眼神望他時,這表示他對這個人有殺意和仇恨他。」
首句不錯,詞意簡潔。
可是後兩句意思重覆,代名詞更是運用不當:
「老師」說當「男生」用這個眼神望「他」時,這個「他」是誰人的代名詞呢?
這表示「他」對「這個人」有殺意和仇恨「他」,這些「他」又是指向誰人?
簡米修正如下:
「我最近去上武術課。老師說當一個男生心生殺意,眼睛會由下而上慢慢觀察對方。」
語癌治療師 (Speech Cancer Therapist) 表示,語癌是首種能夠傳染的癌症。
希望簡米能保簡潔,不受感染,繼續發掘和治療語癌病人 :)
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