投訴信

朋友前日收到人生首封投訴信，哭笑不得。

如斯雞腸，令人驚訝 (I am shocked!)。

首章要旨盡在首句 (topic sentence)，意在精簡。
"I write to lodge my serious complaint on your assistant - Ms. Lee for her impolite and rude manner on reply for my enquiry today on around 11:00am for the matter of XXX."

可是此句只能表達作者英語水平。

哪有不認真的投訴？ 難道有些投訴只屬兒戲？Why so serious？

是 at around 而非 on around。

事件經過應在下文剖析，首句應為：
"I am writing to lodge a complaint against Ms. Lee, your assistant, for her impoliteness and rudeness."

下句開始交代詳情。
"I am the representative of XXX and would like to request receipt from the Incorporated Owners."  可以連同上句末端寫成：
"Today, I came to your office around 11:00am for applying/collecting the receipt from the Incorporated Owners."

切記勿濫用 professional 這字，誇張失實。
"However, I had been shocked from the rude reply from your Ms. Lee in a very unprofessional style."

作者並無交代 Ms. Lee 是否受理收據申請，令事件含糊不清。

如不受理可作：
"As the representative of XXX, I have the right to request for this receipt. However, Ms. Lee refused to do so in a discourteous manner."

如果受理可作：
"Although Ms. Lee accepted my application, her disrespectful manner was intolerable."

信件不宜中英夾雜。
"In addition, when I need to further check with your availability for further meeting with you for this matter, I had also been told again by your Ms Lee that, '你都唔知你老闆幾時番'."

不妨這樣寫：
"In addition, Ms. Lee kept me from making an appointment with you by saying that 'Even you are unsure when your boss will return.' "

此句更顯奇怪。
"I feel very disappointed for your staff performance, as you are the representative for the above building in District Councillor, I could not accept such poor and disgust attitude from your assistant."

I am disappointed by your English.

Disgust 並非態度，而是情感。Disgusting attitude 才是正確答案？Poor English.

議員議會不分，1999。

以 "I am disappointed by Ms. Lee." 為總結，簡潔易明。
         ↑ 按 Ms. Lee 要求更改XD

"Please contact me on XXX on or before 13th June, 2013 for explaining this matter. Otherwise, I will raise this issue to senior level of your Party and District Councillor."

改為 "Please contact me at XXX by 13th June, 2013 and I am looking forward to your prompt reply."

全文觀賞：
I am writing to lodge a complaint against Ms. Lee, your assistant, for her impoliteness and rudeness. Today, I came to your office around 11:00am for applying/collecting the receipt from the Incorporated Owners. As the representative of XXX, I have the right to request for this receipt. However, Ms. Lee refused to do so in a discourteous manner. In addition, Ms. Lee kept me from making an appointment with you by saying that 'Even you are unsure when your boss will return. I am disappointed by Ms. Lee. Please contact me at XXX by 13th June, 2013 and I am looking forward to your prompt reply.

感謝爾雅語言文字工作室校對。